- Anti Joke

A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

I live in a very rural area, so it's not easy to just go to the store and pick something up. I try to find out how to do things with the stuff I have on hand, so I Googled spot remover, but there are only pictures of stain cleaners. Please help. Spot has rabies.

How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

A African americia and a Hispanic are in a car, who's driving? The police man

What Batman Said to Robin before getting into the car? I'll drive.

what's worse than getting raped the guy who raped you has aids

I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

Wanna hear a bathroom joke? YOU TRYIN' TO KILL US?!?

yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

Q: How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A: Depends on the size of the tub and the size of the babies.

Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

Why doed Dorris suffer from incontinence? A weiner dog punctured her bladder.

Penis

womens rights.

What kind of a prediction is THAT?

How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I personally really do not know

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?