What do you get if you cross a nan and a car? A squashed dead nan who released their bowels and your grandads face who was also dead as they had a cardiac arrest

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What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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What is the defference between an apple and a banana? Horses, because vests have no sleeves.

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How do you make a fireman cry??? Kill His Family

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A racist guy walks into a bar. Gets drunk, and cracks jokes. Then proceeds to get the shit kicked out of him.

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, the chicken is dead.

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Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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What did the peanut say to the jelly

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If an ear could talk what would it say? Probably nothing because it doesn't have a tongue...

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if a chcken lays an eggg what happens? a baby bird comes out

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A black and a white man enter the bar all the people jump on the black guy to beat him up when the white guy is geting free vodka

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Why did the boy drop his iceccream?? He got hit by a bus??

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What is a black man's favorite fast food restauraunt? Varies.

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Membean

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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What's black and white and roams the sea floor? A zebra.

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

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Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? No Neither did she

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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