What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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A baby elephant steps on a lego. First thought, auch, huh ?! Actually, the lego was fine with it and so was the baby elephant. Now they're married and are expecting a baby legophant.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What do you call a kid with cancer? screwed

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why do people play xbox 360's? because there poor people who cant afford a ps3

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How did the blonde get Lost in her house? Netflix.

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U mad?

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The Pittsburgh Pirates

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Roses are Red You're Black and Blue My fists seemed to have taken A liking to you

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What did the disabled boy get on Christmas morning? Cancer.

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Can you say the word "toy boat" 10 times fast? No

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There was once a boy who ate fire. He died of severe burns.

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

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a woman votes!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a mini? It is variable according to the size of each baby.

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ati jokes are not to be funny. what about u

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Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

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A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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