A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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what do you call a Puerto Rican with no arms? Trust worthy

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How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk. What did u think he'd do, have coke-a-cola? Dumbass.

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Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

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What do you do if your computer breaks: Go on your phone. What do you do if your phone breaks: Go on you iPod What do you do if your iPod breaks: Then your screwed and you should get a Job and learn not to break things.

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What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

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A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He quickly works on treating the injuries he had received from hitting his head against the bar when he had walked into it.

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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How many Spanish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Uno

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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