Bird jokes are not funny! Crow up!

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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How many anti-joke fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Or two if it's a really high bulb and you need a second person to hold the ladder for safety.

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A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pizza. Pizza who? Delivery.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

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There's a white guy and a black guy, on a bridge. Of corse the idiot white guy jumps off. But the black guy yells, I NEVER LIKED U!!!!! Later that day the police showed up and asked wat happened. The black guy said, U GOT NO EVIDENCE!!! The police say true and walk away. Then go to Dunkin Donuts and get a triple chocolate donnut and coffee. They lived happily ever after. Except for the white guy. :)

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile. get in the batmobile.

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why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

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What did the Holocaust survivor say when asked about their memories in the deathcamps? A: I'd rather not think about it.

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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Why didn't the black lady become a doctor? After being awarded a Guggenheim Achievement Grant for film, she decided rather than going to school for her doctorate to instead spend time traveling in India, doing service work with the country's rather large homeless population.

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robin, get in the car.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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Why was the man sad His got raped

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why didnt the boys drink the coffee? because she coughed on it

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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