what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

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that awkward moment when your teachers a duck

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You're mum is so fat, she has low self-esteem

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Q. Why did the 8 year girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I have no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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What does a snake and a dog have in common? They are both reptiles but except the dog.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ram My Penis Into Ram My Penis Into Who? Me.

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What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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An elephant walks up to a camel and says why have you got a pair if boobs on your back, the camel the replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.

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How many militant feminist does it take to change a lightbulb? 2, one to change the bulb and another to suck my dick.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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Why did the boy with one arm have no friends? He was a cereal killer from Ireland.

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why did he cat not land on its feet? it had 2 legs amputated due to cancer and animal abuse

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Uhh, yeah, some of it, I mean people never looked me in the eyes on the buss really, I dunno,if you think I am pretty maybe it is just your opinion or something, but thanks, you are hones and its nice. Never been out drinking, I am you know, kinda nerdy, I just prefer hanging out with friends at home.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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