What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

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Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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Why couldnt the man buy food? Because.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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What's 2+2? Fish

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

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So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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How many People does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops