What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust Whats worse that the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

What is black and white and red all over? A half eaten zebra carcass.

Why did the gay man not walk straight? Because I took a jack hammer to his foot

What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

whats ironic about a white van being white the driver usualy is not

Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

The Mexican word of the day is JUICY. Tell me if juicy see the cops.

Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

why do black people hate chainsaws? the noise they make- run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run nigga nigga

A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

:( You are right Nero, I am terribly sorry, when I see you, I see the brightest man I have ever seen, should you ever turn against me and stop underestimating yourself, there is nothing I could do.

Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

What's the difference between an elephant and a moscito? There are several differencies. Firstly, the elephant is a mammal and the moscito is an insect.

What did Tim say about his wife cheating on him with his best friend's wife? He ran to R Kelly and got peed on.

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

Wanna hear another joke? Wes Trillows penis!!!

Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

Guy 1: When your Justin Beiber af. Guy 2: What Guy 1: Do you mean

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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