What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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Lucy laughed at the joke. Then realised she had gangrene.

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What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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Hey, Texas! Knock knock Texas: Who's there? Ebola

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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Un petit gars se plante en vélo et il se met à pleurer.

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

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What did Liberia say to Texas? Tag, you're it!

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I suck at poetry. Nice tits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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