Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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Q: Whats the biggest lie? A: The Cake...

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What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

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Why did the Bruins win against the Flyers? ....they had goal tending.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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Gary: Hey Bill, wanna hear a joke? Bill: Yes Gary: Okay.

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What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

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Remember IRON MAN 3! Subscribe to www.prettypleasehelpmeforgethatpieceofshitmovie.com

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Why didn't Johnny get into college? Because Johnny is retarded.

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Why was the man so hungry? Because he hadn't eaten in days.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" Of course not.

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

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What kind of jokes to dairy farmers tell? Corny jokes.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang-rape.

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If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

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Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? Because the economy is shitty and none of the higher ups are willing to take a pay cut and they’re still paying themselves massive bonuses, the result of which are layoffs across all departments.

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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