Did you know that if you write "Beatles" on a piece of paper, chop it up, put it in some cabbage soup, eat the soup, poop it out in a cup, and put the paper back together, it spells "Ringo <3 Arby's"?

how do you make a plumber cry kill his family LOLOLOLOLOLOL

An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

Write your own

An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

Punchline.

Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

What did the bartender say to the black guy? hi there

I'm at my grandmothers house right now

What's funnier than seeing a baby falling from the empire state building? Stopping his speed with a shovel

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

three men walked into a bar, two walked out... One walked into a metal pole and died

What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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