Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Mitt Romney is in the mormon mafia has magic underpants and invented Obama Care but he still lost to a Black guy Who is a fine president.

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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Time flies like a banana.

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There are 2 men are standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is named Peter

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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What ever happened to the bartender that asked, "Why the long face?" He was punched hard on the face for asking a stupid cliche!

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What's black and fast? A treadmill.

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A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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Do you know what's annoying? Steve

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What do you call women playing the sport of lacrosse? I dont think it matters because Women's Lacrosse isn't a sport.

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What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

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What do you call a woman who can't walk? A paraplegic.

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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