Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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it was dark outside so u know what i did....went to sleep

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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n i g g e r s a r e f u c k i n g c h i n k y f a g s

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

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that moment when the last few ceral are like "Come on catch me bitch"

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Jesus Christ

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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What do you call a dumb Asian? An Asian who lacks education.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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are you saying pam, or pan?

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Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

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Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

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What should you do if a stranger picks you up? Politely request that he put you down.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

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Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have alzheimer's Bacon

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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