A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

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Why does the man hate his job? He thinks working sucks?

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name is Paco, And yours is too.

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Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

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A girl cries as she drops a box of uncooked spaghetti noodles, spilling and breaking them onto the floor. She has brittle bone disease.

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

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Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

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what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

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we all know sammi has a penis

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Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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What does wasabi spell backwards? Ibasaw

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You have been brought down to hell where you are welcomed by satan. "Welcome to hell, where you watch your loved ones get tortured for all eternity" Satan said "Where is everyone? " you ask "Hmmm, I guess you were never really loved"He replied

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Why couldn't a little kid turn around in a hall? He has a spear in his back.

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What's worse than losing one of your socks? Being jewish during the holocaust

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? I don't know it really depends on the car, usually about 2 in the front, 3 in the back and... That's about it

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why did the moose cross the road? to eat the baby.

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Knock. Knock Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your best friend.

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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