a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

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how did I get in your moms pants. I ripped them off.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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What's the difference between a rock and a baby? You can't have sex with the rock.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

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Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

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what did the man do when he fell off the top of a building? Nothing He DIED!!!!!!

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Q: What's bad about 4 asians getting shot? A: There could've been five

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What is white and square? A ping pong block

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Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

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what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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Rozes r read Vilets r blew iy cahn noht spell becuase i am blind.

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the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because 7, 8, 9

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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What do the duck and elephant have in common?? Nothing, they are completely different species.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops