What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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What do you call a blonde who likes to read? A bookworm.

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sexual intercourse.

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? (Other): "Because the P is silent." Because they're extinct.

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A giant watermelon falls on a man He's dead

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Why Stevie is silent nowdays? Because he's dead.

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Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

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What's worse than people repeating a joke about a handicapped child and voting down original, funny, anti-material? Knowing that millions of cubic decimetres of precious air and thousands of tonnes of food are being wasted every day to sustain them...

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Your mother is so ugly that people make yo mamma jokes about her

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What is black and white and red all over. A blackboard.

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A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

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whats worse than your computer crashing? your plane crashing...twice

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

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You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

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A horse walks into a bar... just kidding the doors were to smal.l

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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Women's Rights

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A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

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I brought a parachute as carry on luggage, I was pulled aside at security and missed my flight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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