Why we in a Falln tank!!!? Be cause the plane exploded!!!!!!!

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What's the deal with airline food?

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

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What's large, green, and pissed off? The dumpster out back

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Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was getting chased by a pedophile

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Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by your great grandma

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You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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What happened when Sally got hit by a truck? WHO CARES CALL 911!!!!

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-Knock knock -Come on in!

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what starts with F and ends with ead? Fred was walking to school one day when he heard a strange noise in a tree. He walked up to the tree, looked up, and saw a cat. Fred was late for class, so he decided to go to school and help the cat out after school. Eight hours later, Fred came up to the tree and looked up to see if the cat was there. It wasn't. The cat was lying next to the tree, dead.

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There was a girl who dumped her diver boyfriend because she couldn’t get him to give her a pearl out of an oyster. This particularly female has rather high expectations for her significant others.

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A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

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What do you call a black man called Jermaine? Jermaine!

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

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How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

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Justin Bieber walks out of a closet.

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Why Is Helen Keller such a bad driver? Because she is a woman

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What's worse than a baby in a blender? Two babies in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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