guy walks into a bar, ouch

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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I was walking down the street and a guy fell down right next to me. He woke up a hour later and asked "what smells like year old cat pee?" I said "year old cat pee retard honestly." Then he died. Morale don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to.

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Ahmed walks into Abbar.

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Why is the black guy afraid of the white guy? He's not, it's the other way around.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: Depends on how hard you can throw.

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tim has no humor

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

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Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

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What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

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Alice? Childhood Alice? I did not recognize you! Its so nice to hear from you again! I would not worry too much about Nero`s shouting at night dear friend, while he has overcome a lot, he suffers from nightmares and nightterrors, its not pain, not physical at least, please do not tell him I told you, he prefers sparing people the details. Should I type as If I am typing to Nero? Sorry, I am just a bit flustered, Nero has never been the romantic type, not towards me at least... I know the "official chatting hours are over, but can I ask you or rather him to stay on a bit longer?"

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what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

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jewish people like other jewish people.

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My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

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Like to tell patrick porcupine to stop gaming

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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Q:Why did the man have a lot of Hoes? A: He was an experienced Agriculturalist.

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What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

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One night, a man was bitten by Dracula. The first thing to come out of his mouth was "Joke's on you, I have AIDS!" Then proceeded to laugh hysterically until Dracula snapped his neck

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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person 1:Dude, look at the news person 2:Yea man, its D ick Cheney person 1: what a d ick head

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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why did the monkey fall out the tree? he lost his grip

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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