Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

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What is pink and gets wet a tounge

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Q: What did Jenna Jameson say when she heard hard banging near the front door? A: Come inside

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I saw 2 cannibals eating a clown. What did I do? Called the local police.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding the holocaust? A worm

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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What do you call a black priest? Someone devoted to the word of god

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What do you have if you have 100 rabbits in a row and 99 step back? That would be a very unlikely thing to happen, unless a mildly scary predator was released in front of them, or they weren't all stepping back at the same time.

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What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

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What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

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whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Those last 4 were by: Walter

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I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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One time Chuck Norris cried. He felt slightly better after the experience, but, unfortunately, his grandmother still died of cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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