Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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A Black and a Mexican are in the back of a car, they are carpooling to save money on gas.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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Geography Teacher: Bill, British Columbia agreed to join confederation when the government of Canada agreed to do what? Bill: To build a bridge to where my father is who is divorced with my mom.*tear* Geography Teacher: Is that really nesscary Bill? You have a detention.

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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Why did the Mexican jump the American border? Because he wanted a better paying job to support his family, and legal immagration to the States is a lengthy and highly difficult process.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Please spell dyslexia.

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It followed a trail of bird feed that was strewn across the street.

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

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I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

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wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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What happened to the kid who brome his neck? He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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