So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

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Why did the woman cross the road? Why the hell is she out of the kitchen!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Very carefully.

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Your mother just died.

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Why is Harry Potter fake Because its a movie

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whats blue and can be seen in the sky? the sky.

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Whats worse then a pile of dead babies? One live baby at the bottom, eating its way out.

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

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so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm from the Department of Child Services, i'm here to take your children.

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

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What's the worste part about alzheimer's disease? You forgot you have AIDS.

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

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A muslim walks pass a bomb shop on his way to the international peace club.

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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Chuck norris

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We both share the same ethnicity

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What happens when you drop the soap in Prison? You pick it back up and go about your business.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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