Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

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How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nancy Nancy who? Nancy.

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Not much, that would not be so great.

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Farlingaye high school :L what a crap place!

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You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

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Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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Why can't a black guy be the King of England? He's not in line for it.

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How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

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Kameron Brown is gay.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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so i turned on my radio.. so i could like listen to some tunes but like, it wasnt working and then like my best bud leaf was all like dude, thats a toaster.

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You just read this ..

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

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what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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