A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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A man and his wife are disagreeing about what type of car to get. The wife continously nags him about getting her something that will go from 0-200 in 4 seconds, so he gets her a scale and buys himself a truck, 1 min later an abulance is called because the wife hit the husband with his new car.

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How do you stop a pedophile from following you? Throw a fridge at him

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Why couldn't the bird fly? cause it was a penguin

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A guy walks into a bar and thinks of a superlative anti-joke. After having an enjoyable time at the bar he then promptly goes home and posts it for the world to see.

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alcoholism kills

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Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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Bob:Know who's really stupid? Rick:Who? Bob:Your mum.

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what is funnier than 24.....?????? 69. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE ME AND YOUR MAMA

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What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

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A guy walks into a bar. I didn't see anything else.

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dying unloved.

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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Your mom is so fat, I do not see how she can possibly wipe effectively.

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Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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