A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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Why was the dog fallowing the fat guy. The fat guy said come.

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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a

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An American, an Irish man, a Chinese man and a Black man walk in to a Bar, the Bartender takes their order

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

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Why'd the girl fall off her bike? She rode over a curb

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

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-Whats worse than a joke with no punch line? -What?...

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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What is the difference between your mom and a cow? One is a 1,500 pound beast, and one is a human being.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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Johnny is walking around school when he sees a kid crying. He asked the kid what he was crying about and the kid said " I was trying to talk to a girl"

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Cold camel scrotum.

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ask me if im a house are you a house? no

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What did Death say to Life? Go die.

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Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

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Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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