Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Shoot her in the head repeatedly

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

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why did the iraqi woman bury her wedding ring in the ground? because it's the only way she could properly pay respect to the death of her husband who recently died in a group suicide bombing.

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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Chip and Dale walk into a bar. Chip is black now.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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There was a little girl who went on a walk. She was about 8 years old. An old green stationwagon pulled up to the little girl. He said,"Need a ride?" She shook her head and climbed in. 2 weeks later she was found dead in a ditch. She was raper and murdered

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

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What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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