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Chuck norris

There are two types of people in this world: Those who can finish lists. and

Why do flamingos hold up one leg?f If they held up two they'd fall down.

Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

Q. what did the kid say to his foreign language teacher about the test? A: i dont understand this test, its like in a complete different language

What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

(Timmy has no arms or legs.) A:Knockknock! B:Who's there? ANot Timmy

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

Samantha

A Jew doesn't walk out of the Holocaust.

Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

what do get when you throw a penny in between a jew and a mexican? nothing besides one less penny

Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

Why did Osama bin laden plan 9/11? Same reason Justin bieber was born....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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