A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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Samantha

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A Jew doesn't walk out of the Holocaust.

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Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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what do get when you throw a penny in between a jew and a mexican? nothing besides one less penny

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Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

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Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

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What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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Why did Osama bin laden plan 9/11? Same reason Justin bieber was born....

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Why was Helen Keller a terrible driver? She was a woman.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

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What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

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justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

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What do shoes and boxes have in common Both will get squashed if a washing machine lands on one of them

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What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

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When im invisible you cant see me, i know

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what happens when a jew meets a black person answer: they greet one another

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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Why is my room black and white? Because your in a black and white movie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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