what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. My mom went to the doctor and found out she has cancer, so when she told me, I was eccentric. That tree is green.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? WHO CARES!!

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call of duty world at war

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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why are black people scared of chain saws? because it goes runnigganigganiggarunnigganigganigga

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Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

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I want to tie a baby to the back of a truck then reverse into a wall.

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Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory? A: It's hard to say. HR can not discuss the details of her termination, and the blonde signed a non-discloure agreement. She has since relocated to Biloxi with her family and is doing quit well.

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Q) Whats wet fishy and gets caught by fishermen? A) fish.

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Fuzzy Whuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Whuzzy has no hair. Fuzzy Whuzzy has Cancer.

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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You are walking down the street, and a man keeps on getting in your way. You want to politely... Screw it already and stab him in the back

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Why was the clown sad? Because he was found guilty of raping and murdering 33 young men, and sentenced to death for 12 of those murders by a jury of his piers.

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What can Harry Potter NOT see with his glasses? His parents...alive.

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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Your time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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