once upon a time, it snowed

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Your momma's so old she might die soon.

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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A redhead walks into a hairdressing salon and asks to have her hair dyed black due to being a subject of bullying and social rudeness.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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LIE

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Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

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The cow says MOO. Until you shoot it.

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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What did the penguin do in the desert? He died .

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Why doesnt the ladder work? A ladder is an inaminent object therefore imcapable of having a job.

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Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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