Q- what the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A- The Wheelchair

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A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

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What do you call 4 Mexicans getting into a car late at night? 3rd Shift carpooling

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" Surprised, the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named 'Bob'?"

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Why did the fungus leave the party? Truffle.

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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What has four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill someone? A pool table.

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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Doctor, I am afraid of doctors, I dont even dare seek them up. Janitor: Thats quite apparent... Dr.Moral:

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Not having an apple, reguardless of its inhabitants.

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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Why don't black people ever defend themselves on anti jokes? Because black people are slaves.

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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