What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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A tree walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the log face?".

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Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

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What's worse than breaking your arm? Not having any arms.

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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Women's rights.

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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You know what it means when a priest lays his watch down on a podium? Absolutely nothing

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How did the girl die? 25.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

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what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? His mother threw a fridge at him

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, WITHOUT MY HEART I CANNOT LOVE YOU

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Women's Rights

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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So a little girl walks into a bar.. and gets kicked out for being underaged.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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