Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it lost Consciousness.

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YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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What was the joke about that woman with altsimers again? Ironically I forgot.

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A woman goes to the doctor.....She has terminal cancer.

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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I have an excuse why one leg and one arm ar shorter than the ather two. I was born sideways and pulled out by an arm and a leg, trust me im not stupid or gay... ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........................That was my turrets kickin in and i have dislexia if i didnt spell turrets right

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Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

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Timmy heard that Red Bull gives you wings. He drank one and waited. No wings. He drank another and waited. No wings. Timmy drank 3 cases of Red Bull trying to get wings. Timmy died. The end.

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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What do you call a white woman that had sex with a black guy? A rape victim.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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