Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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Are yu mad Twinkle twinkle little star if yu don't shut up I'm gonna hit you with my freaking car

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knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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No this is Patrick, I'm not a krusty krab

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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how does stephen hawking get an erection? he turns off his pop-up blocker

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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68 :)

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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What's the difference between a white guy playing basketball and a black guy playing hockey??? There is none..they hardly get playing time!!

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Two peanuts walk down the street. One was a salted.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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And you honored it I see :P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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