What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Three males walked into a bar. one of them was a kangaroo.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Who is yellow and cant drive straight. A man dying of lukemia

thumb_up thumb_down

you know why people who read anti-jokes are stupid? i just had the greatest sex ever!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Q: What do you call a man from south korea? A: I don't know, but I'm not letting him drive my car.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What has 4 eyes and can't see. Blind siamese twins!

thumb_up thumb_down +52

How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is an antijoke? Not Knock

thumb_up thumb_down -30

3 people walk into a bar. They order the same drinks. Upon receiving these drinks, they all promptly left. This is not a funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

As I was riding my bike down the road, I saw a young boy being raped in a dark alley way. I proceeded to pedal and acted like i had seen nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How did the hot blonde get a promotion from her boss? She worked really hard and achieved more thaan her coworkers.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops