A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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knock knock who's there bob bob who bob marley who else

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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What did little jonny do when he broke his leg? He proceeded to brake into tears due to the excruciating pain caused by his unfortunate injury.

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

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Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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Your mama's so fat, that when she opened the window, wind came in!!!

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An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

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What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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So a dog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Quickly, someone give me the number for animal control."

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What do you call a black cop? Officer.

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How did the three girls get free drinks? Two of them were attractive and out of obligation to "the game" the third girl was also purchased a beverage.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Whats the difference between a cow and a sheep a cow goes baa and a sheep goes moo

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why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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what would u di if u were having anal sex with a black guy and his dick was soooo bi that ir rippped ur asshole? staple it back together

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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