whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

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Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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Why couldn't the surgeon perform surgery? Because he was in court being sued due to the fact that he administered too much anesthesia to a patient, who later died of overdose..

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Bob: "Did you eat my sandwich?" Alex: "I am your sandwich."

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Reading the Terms and Conditions

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What's black and really really smelly? Martin Luther King Jr.'s grave.

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How do you get a fat man to go outside? Blow up his house

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

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Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

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How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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What's 9 + 10 19

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Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

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At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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