A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -16

rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Too bad, because UNTIL YOUR FUCKING "POWER OF HUMAN KIND" CAN SUMMON UP A FUCKING EYEBALL! NOTHING WILL MAKE UP FOR THIS SHIT! "Oh, my the good old phonebook, I will... Now... try... to... seduce... you... with... my... "goodness" As far as "oh I know where you live", well nobody here is hiding fagface! So you come out of your "darkness or shadows or whatever" and let me stab out both your fucking eyes! And we are STILL NOT GOOD! And yeah, have your faggots stop calling themselves Nero.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was Frankenstein green? Because he painted himself green. Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Did you hear about the eskimo and the pregnant lady? The eskimo got the pregnant lady pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the black person cross the road? Because the street light turned green

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black man is seen next to a dead man. Who do you call? The ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the plane say to the ground when they hit each other Boom

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away her Gameboy.

thumb_up thumb_down

Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

My mother in law fell down a wishing well, i was amazed, i never new they actually worked

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Black Friday

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops