A man walks into a sofa. BANG

Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

What did the white guy say when a black man punched him? Ow, i am sueing for assault. that is a crime

why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi AKSDNFK;SANFKANSDFLJNASDKFNASLDFN VOOL?

I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

your life

How do you get black children to stop jumping on the bed? Tell them it's not allowed and that consequences will ensue if the rules are not followed.

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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