Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

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A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

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Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

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Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

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Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

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What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

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how much fish could a chicken

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

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whats blue and fluffy? your mothers chest hair!

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

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What do you call a black guy driving a Mercedes through New York? A U.S. Citizen

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Whats worse than 2 babies in a trashcan. 1 baby in 2 trashcans

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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I love Ciara!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The road was Catholic, and it couldn't cross itself.

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

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Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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