what did the boy with no arms get for easter? a cane.

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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Two muffins are in an oven. After ten minutes at 375 degrees, they were pulled out, allowed to cool, and eaten.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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Knock knock *No one was home*

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what did the nazi say to the jew? hi

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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There once was a man who couldn't finish any sente

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Why couldn't little Sarah smell the roses? Her face was mauled by a grizzly bear

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did a black man put his hands on a white man? They were hugging.

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

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What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

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Why is Justin Biber so white? there's nothing in the closet.

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The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

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What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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