Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

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A stripper walks into a bar. She works there.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

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My girlfriend gave me her first ever blowjob last night. I came in her mouth and she washed it down with a can of Carling. Obviously she had to get that horrible taste out of her mouth, so she gave me another blowjob.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue At least that's what I've been told But honestly I've never seen those flowers so I wouldn't know.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends. How hard can you throw?

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How many Jew can you fit in a car? As many as the car seats comfortably.

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How do you kill a black guy With a gun

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I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

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What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

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knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

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Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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Why did Johnny stop walking halfway to school? A fridge fell on him.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

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What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops