Fruitcake

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A man walked into a metal bar, they were playing Metallica.

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roses are red but violets are definately violet what retard made this rhyme

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the tree fall over? The koala forgot to let go.

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When adolf hitler went to the chippy, He ordered a bock wurst. Later, he ate the whole thing and said he wants another.

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a guy walks into a bar the barman says "what'll it be?"

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Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

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whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

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dur dur dur dur said the child born during an earthquake

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-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

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Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

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I'm banging your sister.

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

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How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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