knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

your momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a supermarket i probably would too...considering all the good shit needs to be cooked

my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

Yeah, me too. The car just ran straight through the stoplight and it was all over...

i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

When geese fly in the "V" shape, why is one side longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

A man stand's on a chair Then he fall's off

What's black, white, and red all over? A: Me after domestic abuse.

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

how do you take a shit in public? pull down your pants and push in public

How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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