Jesus was a good guy

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ass.

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How many babies can you fit in a toilet? To be exact you would have to do all this math, so I tested it out myself and got 7.6.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? After one hour, twelve minutes, and fifty-three seconds, Dave calculated that it approximately took 247 licks.

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Jacob Edwards has friends

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Coming home and discovering that your wife has drowned your kids in the bathtub

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dream of a day when chickens won't be questioned about their actions

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Snow White found a magic lamp in the middle of the forest. She rubbed it and became pregnant because the spout was a penis.

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fuzzy wuzzy was a bear fuzzy wuzzy had no hair so fuzzy wuzzy wasn't fuzzy was he? yes

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A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

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girl: why do you love me? boy: i don't.

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Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

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Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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Do you know what a third world bathroom smells like? Crap

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A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

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What's the difference between God and Kanye West? God doesn't think he's Kanye West.

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Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic eye chart maker? His disability caused to him to have a difficult time at work and his production suffered because of this.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you f***ing racist.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops