I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Herpes, Now you do too.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

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A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

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wanna hear a good anti-joke? no, anti-jokes are a waste of time.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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theres a mexican women and a black man in a car....whos driving? nobody sadly the driver was shot.

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Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

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What's brown and smells like poop? A monkey.

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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Jimmy went to a bar, to see a stand up comedian, he heard the standup comedian tell a funny joke, so after the show, he went home and told his wife the joke and after that he said, i made that up, im funny arent i, the wife seemed shifty, so she googled the joke and found the stand up comedians joke, giggled and then proceeded to continue back angrily to Jimmy, because he just did the wrong thing, she slapped Jimmy in the face, divorced Jimmy and killed his 3 children because Jimmy plagurised, and plagurism is illegal, and now Jimmy has no children, and a red mark on his cheek and knows he did the wrong thing don't smoke kids

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm colorblind.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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