Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Why did the cat throw up on the couch? because it was nauseous!

thumb_up thumb_down -54

A black teenager drives an Escalade His father is a prominent lawyer and his mother is a neuroscientist.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 raped and murdered 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why is there milk on the stairs? Did the cow leak again?

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

thumb_up thumb_down +53

A guy in a truck delivering furniture runs over a frog. Concerned for the frog, he pulls over and runs back to the frog and asks "Are you ok?" The frog replies "Yeah, you want to buy a cupboard?"

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What did the mute person say to the deaf person? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

thumb_up thumb_down +45

There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

There's two homosexuals having sex in the back of a van...........they're over 21 what's wrong with that!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Whats the best ab workout? Solly Twist

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +41

why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops