How do you make a mimer to speak? Shot him in both knees and cut of he's ear

thumb_up thumb_down -28

q ggggggggggggggggg

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

the horse walks into the bar the bartender calls the pet control

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the dog that was chasing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What would Martin Luther King Jr. do if he was alive today? Scream at the top of his lungs as he tried to punch out the top of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: what do you call a black priest A: Coley s**t

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

how many black men did it take to steal from the whitehouse? Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What starts with a P and ends with O-R-N? porn

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What is it worse than a bee sting ? -Two bee stings What 's worse than two bee stings ? -The holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust ? -3 bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Armando masturbated

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

yo mamas so fat... she's a map on call of duty

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why did the teacher get mad at the student? Because he ran over him with a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What would happen if you put a marshmellow in a tractor Because 7, 8, 9

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops