Scenario: Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub The first one says, "Hey, can you pass the radio please" And the second one replies, "Sorry, my cousins are made of soap."

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who`s there? Not Suzie

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miley cyrus

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What time is it? 20:45.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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What did Jennifer get in her college exam? She got a C minus

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what did the police do when they saw an arab running towards a building? Watched him run by because he was probably late for something

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how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

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how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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Why did the kid kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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The Holocaust.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What number comes after 29? 30.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back. And 6 million in the ashtray

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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