A dolphin walks into a bar. Dolphins do not have legs therefore this is physically impossible.

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Customer: "I can't turn my computer on." Phone support: "Do you have power?" Customer: "Yes." Phone support: "Do you have fingers?" Customer: "No."

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Wheelchair high jump

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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How do you kill a Jew? The same way you kill any person. It could be gunshot, strangulation, hanging, poison etc. They are the same as every other human being, so you would kill them just like any other human being.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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What do you get when you cross Sir Elton John with a sabertooth tiger. I don't know but you better keep it away from your ass.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It got shot. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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whats worse than having your sextape leaked to the media? not being a kardashian when it happens.

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Why do people eat babies? Because they're delicious.

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How do u get Hitler out of a car? You open the door.

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Why was the kid mad? Because he died.

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A Mexican walked into a bar. He never came back out.

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women's rights

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Is your friend gay? Yeah, duh, of course he's happy.

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Whats worse than jizzing while your on a date? Shitting in you pants while your on a date.

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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Pokemon go: Team mystic

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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If Michael Jackson was alive we would who cares he is dead

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What's black and fun to hang from trees? Tire swings.

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Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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Hey i heard you where cool wait that was opposite day ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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