Why must you never cross an elephant with a human being? It is impossible anyway.

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what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

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Gary: Hey Bill, wanna hear a joke? Bill: Yes Gary: Okay.

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Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

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SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

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Q:what has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A:a pool table

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins the china town

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why did the little girl get her hair cut? she has cancer.

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Near the tower of London, a woman says to her friend: "You know, I had a feeling my son would come out, and the other day, he did." "What was your first clue?" "We're British."

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Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

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If I met your mom before you was born, you would still be born.

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Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

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What do you call this? A sentence in English.

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Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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