why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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A guy walks into a bar. He was an alcoholic and it was destroying his family.

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Why was the man cold? Because he was dead.

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What's red ad looks like a green bucket? A red bucket to a color blind person

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

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Wanna know something fishy? A fish

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What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

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how do you make the president cry ?? shoot his family !!

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Ching Chong Bing Bong.. Yoyao? Dat U?

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

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How do 5 gay teenagers walk? In 'One Direction"

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what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

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poop

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What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

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A baby seal walks into a club.... Oh....

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Did you know that I can't talk any louder than this... Exept when I can

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a women. Statutory rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops