How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

A man accidentally forgets his daughter at a Sizzler

What is the most important thing to have during a zombie apocalypse? Oxygen.

How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

Three blondes are stranded on an island. They all die from starvation.

Whay is jerry so bad at parallel parking? He just got a sex change yesterday.

what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

What do you call a mexican riding a lawnmower? Promoted

What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

knock knock Labrinth come in

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

Trees are like friends. They both fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

why couldn't the the black man get a job? because he doesn't posses the correct work ethic.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

like this joke for a free ipod nano or a dead baby ?

whats worse than finding the holocaust on your forehead? a mono brow

How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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