What did Jim say to Bob? Hi Bob.

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Women's Rights.

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? The Ferrari is expensive and the babies are in a nice hospital.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your ugly

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.????????

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whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

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What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

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Try saying "Good Eye Might" without sounding Australian.

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The dyslexic man called the black man a ginger.

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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Knock Knock Whos There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley.

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what did the black man say to the white man? hi

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What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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