so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Why did Suzue fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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Why did the vampire die? He had AIDS.

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How do you blind a Chinese man You put a blind fold on him

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What did Coke say to Pepsi? "Hello."

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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what came first the chicken or the chips

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Why did the road cross the chicken? REVENGE

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please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance addiction, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life and was apalled by his bad decisions.

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Q) Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest A) Real Joke : Because the parrots-eat-em-all

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, And I'm color blind, So I don't give a shit

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Why did the Dentist recommend Oral B? He had been paid by the company and thus legally bound to do so.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Anne Frank

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knock knock whos there Aids, now you've got it

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What's black and chrispy inside? A black guy with bonecancer

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what does a black person and an elephant have in common? what? they are both living beings who have their place in the world.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar with a vase of 12 roses. 57 years later he died after a lengthy battle with colon cancer.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Selena Gomez

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What did the normal guy say when he went to the Special Olympics? What a bunch of retards.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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