You smell like shit

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Republicans

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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LMFAO - "WE runnin' through these hoes like Drano?" Is that really what society has sunken to? Is this really what is accepted? Is this what we are jamming into children's moralities? Society is Screwed!

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I walked a few Km from home.. Something stops me in my tracks, there lies A LIE!

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Whats white and sticky? Rotten milk.

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Lebron James in the 4th quarter.

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Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

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A Squirrel gets ready for hybernation. 21 You Stupid

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

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what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

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Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

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There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Hit by a bus Why did the bus driver drop his coffee? He hit the boy

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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A jewish lady is cleaning a house to make some extra money. Its great that she can still find work in this economy.

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What's worse than kicking your dog? Eating it.

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One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answered him in a such a simple and concise way, that the little boy understood.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

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what do you call a monkey? a monkey

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Autism speaks but not really

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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