What's the difference between a duck?

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what is 6.9? a good thing ruined by a period

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Your mother is so rotund, in fact she went to a weight loss clinic... but gained weight

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney? Nothing chimneys don't talk

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what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

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Make little things count Teach midgets math

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The 17 year old buy called his computers support number to remove a virus from his old computer, so he can gift the computer to his little cousin for his birthday. But before giving the computer to his cousin he downloaded over 120 hours of adult film onto it.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

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i cant think of one.

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What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

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yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

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Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

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What do black people and apples have in common? They are both fruit... except for black people

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how many babies does it take to paint a house? that is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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A: B: No pun intended.

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No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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